The Cullen's Without
by Twilightfan1296
Summary: the cullen's thoughts if one of they're own died. but it's funny r/r please! and trust me I know how stupid this story is...:P
1. Bella

**Author note: co written by 'Bite Me Jasper Cullen' I know this is a bit sick... but we had some funny ideas... we might write a serious one later haven't decided yet.**

The Cullen's Without...

Bella

Edward's POV

Bella's gone. How could I have done this to her? It's all my fault. I'm so stooopid. I want to kill myself. I'm such a bloody emo, man! Where's that knife that's always lying around that cuts vampire skin? Oh Jesus man! I'm English! I never noticed before...

"Hey, Emmett!" I said, "I dare you to rip me to pieces and burn me."

"I don't know, man, that sounds kinda dangerous..."

"Are you chickening out?!"

"NEVER!!

Emmett POV

Man. Bella's dead. Dude. Bella's gone. Hummmm. Heeee.

"Hey, Emmett!"Edward said, "I dare you to rip me to pieces and burn me."

"I don't know, man, that sounds kinda dangerous..."

"Are you chickening out?!"

ME! Emmett almighty, chicken out??! How could he say such a thing?!

"NEVER!!" I screamed

***

Alice POV

NO! No more shopping buddy!! Wait a minute. Why did I just see Emmett ripping Edwards clothes off?!

"Hey! What are you doing?!!"

Man I thought you said rip your clothes off and burn them!" Alice hears from the next room.

Boys! Wait another minute! Awesome! I get to buy Edward new clothes! Well, at least some good came from Bella's death. Yey Bella!

***

Rosalie POV

Oh well!

Typical Bella! Always stealing the lime light!

***

Jasper POV

Well, I did try to kill her once my self. Damn I wish I was there when she died. Mmmm, all that blood... Oh no! It's happening again! Happy thoughts! HAPPY THOUGHTS! Humans= friends (not food)!!!

***

Esme POV

Oh. It's like losing a daughter. Oh no. Oh, who am I kidding? I didn't even know the kid!

Carlisle POV

Oh great! Now Bella's gone the hospital will be deserted!


	2. Edward

Authors note: TWILIGHT ROCKS. Please read and review.

The Cullen's without...

Edward

Bella pov

I'd never given much thought to how he would die. I guess I just never thought this kind of thing could happen, to something so beautiful. Isn't it against the law or something for beautiful people to be killed? I should write to someone about that.

Dear Mr President,

I believe that beautiful people (i.e. my Eddy kins) should not die. So I think to stop beautiful people dying you should make a law against it. The law should be called the 'beautiful people (i.e. my Eddy pooh) should not die' law.

Yours truthfully (yet slightly deranged)

Bella.

Rosalie POV

Yes finally I'm the best musician in the family now.

Mu ha ha ha ha ha

***

Emmett POV

Edward can't be dead. Carlisle told me he went a trip to heaven . . . oh I get it! You go to heaven when you die.

I'll miss him. . . NA.

***

Carlisle POV

That shows him for trying to read more books than me.

I am the champion book reader.

MU Ha ha ha ha ha

***

Esme POV

He was my son. I shall miss him so much.

Wow I'm such a bad liar. Who am I trying to kid anyway?

***

Alice POV

Yeh the Volturi want me the most now. Oh damn it, didn't really think that one through.

Oh well at least I have the coolest ability now. Wait, what am I saying? I've always had the best ability.

***

Jasper POV

He always forced his emo emotions on me. But not any more . . . now I'm . . . happy?

Yey lets go dance in a circle round some flowers.


	3. Rosalie

The Cullen's Without...

Rosalie

Emmett POV

WOW! I'm like a widower now! Wow. WOW it's so weird that she died while looking in a mirror, that, like, never happens. OH GOD. NO MORE SEX! That's what this means! It means no more sex.

This is hell! I wonder if Alice...? Or Bella?

"Neither Alice or Bella will have sex with you, Emmett. We know you're lonely but that's just sick!"

Edward. Always ruining my fun. That boy lives to ruin my fun.

Wait, what was I thinking about before I started thinking about Edward... Oh yeah! Rosalie's dead. Mmmmm. That, like, sucks. OH GOD. NO MORE SEX.

"Emmett!" Edward again.

Jasper POV

Well, I know I should feel sad, but all I really feel is a huge craving for sex. Must be coming from Emmett.

You know, I'm really trying to feel sad that Rosalie's dead. But let's face it. She was a bitch.

Alice POV

Hmmm. Rosalie. Dead. Dead. Rosalie. Rosalie + Death = a dead Rosalie... Ha ha ha!!! I made a funny! I better write that down before I forget it. Oh crap! Emmett! What if he sees what I wrote, hell he'll kill me.

"Ha ha ha! Rosalie + Death = a dead Rosalie! That's pretty funny, Alice!" Emmett laughed, "Oh, wait. OH CRAP! NO SEX!" And then he ran out the room.

That was really weird...

Bella, Carlisle and Esme's POV

Hmmmmm. So she's dead. Oh well that's what you get for being a selfish bitch.

But it is ironic that she died while looking in a mirror.

Hmmm. What should we do tonight...?

Edward POV

Ewwww. Emmett wants to have sex with bella.

Ewwwwww.

Does he really need sex that badly? Oh yeah, he does. Hes Emmett. OH GOD. Now rosalies gone emmett's goind to make my life a living hell, always thinking about sex.

Well, the bright side is that Jasper actually has to_ feel_ like he wants sex all the time. HA HA HA! Thats going to be amusing...


	4. Emmett

The Cullen's without...

Emmett

Rosalie's POV

Well that's what he gets! He made me over a hundred flipping miles, for crying out loud! You should have seen the mess my nails were in after that. I almost died, but instead he did. Good.

Edward POV

Poor Emmett. I always liked him. Even though was an absolute numbskull but still... I can have all the irritable grizzlies I want now. Yes! No more gross Rosalie thoughts! Thank you God.

Alice POV

OH! Great! Now I don't have an excuse to go shopping for longer because we couldn't find Emmett's size! Gee! Thanks a bunch Emmett!

Jasper POV

Emmet was an idiot! I'm not surprised he died like that! Typical! And the look on his face! Ha! Idiot... I want to do that to Rosalie? No! Oh no! Emmett's ghost is here??!

Bella POV

Oh Emmett! Why did it have to be you that got killed? And I really wanted to beat you at arm wrestling again. Ha! The look on your face! You buffoon!

Esme POV

I'm fed up pretending. You know what? I'm glad he died. Why couldn't he have died _before_ he broke my brand new china and glass table! Not to mention all those houses!

Carlisle POV

Emmett dying wasn't really a shock. But I didn't think he would 8 years never mind 80. I'm just glad he can't call me Gay any more!

"Carlisle's Gay!" shouted Emmett's ghost.

What the heck was that?


End file.
